10.) Chutes and Ladders
Players: 2+
Age range: 3+
Setup Time: Negligible
Playing time: 15-45 minutes
Chutes/Snakes and Ladders is the pure chance game that should but somehow fails to teach us the dangers of gambling at a young age. You can't really celebrate a victory too much in a game where flicking something on the end gave you the win.
9.) Carcassonne
Players: 2–5 (6 with expansion)
Age range: 8 +
Setup time: 1–5 minutes
Playing time: 30–90 minutes
With a map that is created dynamically and allows for thousands of possible combinations you never know what to expect from this game. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for your regular group of friends who always spend the night arguing about why they never meet ‘cool’ girls as they stuff fistfuls of Cheetos into their face and wipe trails of snot onto their sleeves.
8.) Operation
Players: 1+
Age Range: 6+
Set up time: 2-3 minutes
Playing time 10 minutes
Operation is the simplest and yet most difficult game ever created. All it requires is that you have nimble fingers and a lightly morbid sense of humor. Not recommended for anyone with PTS for obvious reasons.
7.) Ticket to Ride
Players: 2–5
Age range: 8 and up
Setup time: <5 minutes
Playing time: 45+ minutes
A board game that involves building the best railroad to ship people across Europe sounds like something Mel Gibson invented, but this game is actually fun for the entire family. Recognized worldwide as a great competitive game, Ticket to Ride is a must play and is so good it’s worth taking the time away from stalking your neighbor and stealing her hair to make dolls.
6.) Risk
Players: 2–6
Setup time: 5–15 minutes
Playing time: 1 to 6 hours
I don’t have to explain this game to you because it is a bonafide classic. Nothing tears a family apart as fast as a game of Risk. I’ve actually witnessed a wedding get called off after an invasion in this game. Like coming home to find your wife in a threesome with your parents, this game reeks of betrayal. So take a chance and test your friendship by playing a 12 hour game of Risk. The real winner is the person who doesn’t end up getting stabbed with a dinner fork.
5.) Trivial Pursuit
Players: 2-6
Age Range: 12+
Set up time: 5 minutes
Playing Time: 30 minutes(varies widely)
Most games are designed for hunchbacked geeks with hard-ons for Excel spreadsheets, but Trivial Pursuit is a game made for parties. From TV show trivia to important historic knowledge, Trivial Pursuit offers unique challenges for kids of all ages. So invite your friends over to play this game, instead of showing them four horrifically graphic hours of video from your latest Ladyboy themed sexual walkabout in Thailand.
4.) Pandemic
Players: 2 – 4 (5 with Expansion)
Age range: 10+
Setup time: 10 min
Playing time: 45 min
Pandemic is a board game essential and should be on any top 10 board game list. Sure, spreading deadly contagious viruses sounds like the type of game Professor Nichols plays at an all girls school but it’s actually an awesome theme for this board game. Work with friends (or other mental asylum inmates) as you play against the board to fight off rapidly spreading diseases as you move across the globe… If only this game recognized being ginger as a terminal disease that needs to be eradicated.
3.) Settlers of Catan
Players: 3 or 4
Age range: 10 years and up
Setup time: approx. 10 minutes
Playing time: 60 to 90 minutes
A classic board game that has to be on this list because you can use the bandit or robber to screw people over. Really this game should be our new mascot, which reminds me… How long can a hooker live when locked in a dog crate in someone’s basement? Catan is simple to learn but takes a long time to master. Give it a try; unlike your rape-themed wedding speech, this one won’t disappoint the whole family.
2.) Monopoly
Players: 2-8
Age Range: 7+
Setup Time: 5-10 minutes
Playing time: 1-4 hours
Monopoly is the game that gives the important life lesson that there is always someone trying to swindle you with something that sounds fanastic. Giving away Park Place for immunity and a load of cash sounds great until they use it to bankrupt all your friends and lean on you like Trump on model half his age. Barkers know this game well as our family motto states Fide sed cui Vide.
1.) Chess
Players: 2
Age Range: 10+
Setup Time: 1 minute
Playing time: 10 - 60 minutes
Chess is the ultimate test of strategic mastery. Beating someone in this game is the most fulfilling experience you can get playing a board game. The Wham Bamm what the fuck just happened look on your opponents face when you let them know they can't do anything is the payoff for a long hard game. If anyone says they don't like Chess or think it is stupid then you play a game of Rock, Paper, Punch them in their face.
Sound off in the comments with what you think of the list.
